The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
by OrangeForce1
Summary: My Fairy Tale of True Love.Also has a little bit of satire about today's superficial and sometimes racist beliefs.


The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

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Ch.1 Bobbyo

Once upon a time, long long ago (1992 to be exact), there was a man. This man was an illegal alien from Mexico. His name was Roberto Barnharto, but he preferred to be called "Bobbyo."

Bobbyo was extremely ugly and fat, not to mention he was an illegal alien from Mexico residing in a 1982 Ford F-150 Pickup Truck with seventeen relatives. He had terrible acne, arthritis, corrosion of the liver, cancer, an enlarged prostate, and seven fingers on his left hand. He was also obese (58 percent body fat), lazy, unathletic, lazy-eyed, wore an eye patch, had a fake wooden leg, and Bobbyo was probably mentally insane. As you can tell, these traits didn't exactly have the women chasing down his truck/home when they caught a glimpse of him. Bluntly, he was a downright repulsive, fat loser.

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Ch. 2 Wish

God and Jesus felt pretty terrible for making Bobbyo such an awful travesty to mankind, so they decided to endear him with a special present.

One Christmas Day, when all of Bobbyo's relatives were gone fixing a roof, Santa Claus came ti visited Bobbyo.

Santa is supposed to come down through the chimney to deliver presents, but Bobbyo lived in a truck. So, Santa Claus came through Bobbyo's muffler.

Santa said to Bobbyo, " Bobbyo, I'm Santa, and God sent me here to grant one wish unto you."

"Superpowers," Bobbyo replied without hesitation.

"You don't want to be normal, or rich, or handsome, or anything like that?" asked Santa Claus, slightly confused.

"I want to be able to fly, have super speed, super strength, X-Ray vision, and to be able to turn invisible."

"You're positive?"

"Yep," Bobbyo said.

"Ok," Santa told him.

Santa granted the wish and flew off in his magical sled pulled by eight Cadillac Escalades and a cherry red Impala named "Rudolph."

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Ch. 3 A Better Life

Bobbyo used his powers to fly all over the world to the most wealthy and lavish banks in every country, then he used his X-Ray vision to find where all the money was kept, his powers of invisibility to sneak in without the cameras seeing him, Bobbyo would then used his super strength to break open the bank's vault, and then he got away by utilizing his super speed.

Bobbyo became the richest man in the world. He soon bought one hundred cars and ten houses.

He then used his powers to fly his bloodsucking, mooching, good-for-nothing, mean, sadistic family into the middle of the Sahara Desert and drop them off without food or water.

Then, Bobbyo visited some doctors. He had laser surgery to fix his eyes. He paid for liposuction to make himself skinny. Bobbyo had plastic surgery to make himself extremely handsome. He then funded a bunch of doctors to take care of his health problems. And he even had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon make him into a white man.

Bobbyo then changed his name to Robert Barnhart, but he preferred to be called "Bobby."

Bobby bribed the U.S. Government into making him a Citizen of the United States of America.

Then he had paid Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa to give him enough steroids to make him superbly buff and astonishingly ripped in two days.

Roberto "Bobbyo" Barnharto, the lazy, fat, ugly, poor, smelly, sick, insane, loser illegal Mexican had been transformed Robert "Bobby" Barnhart, attractive, ripped, buff, healthy, rich, white American. He had it made.

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Ch. 4 Love

Bobby had everything that anyone could ask for. Except, he didn't have one thing: Love.

Bobby needed a woman to love.

So, he flew all around the world until he found the most beautiful woman in the world. Her name was Julia. And, using his X-Ray vision, he could tell that she was more than merely meets the eye (wink wink).

The problem with wooing her was that she was being held hostage by terrorists inside a Los Angelas skyscraper.

So, Bobby stole some explosives, and utterly destroyed the building and saved Julia. Hundreds of innocent people died, but they aren't part of the story, so I won't talk about them.

Bobby tried to impress her with his amazing good looks and muscles. Julia didn't care.

Bobby tried to impress her with his awesome super powers. Julia didn't care.

Bobby tried to impress her by nuking a third world country named Ethiopia, and saying he created all the fireworks just for her. Julia didn't care.

Bobby tried to impress her by flying her to the most incredibly beautiful and romantic places in the world. Julia didn't care.

Bobby finally gave up in despair, and flew her back to his house in Malibu.

When Julia gazed her eyes upon all his money, all his cars, and his enormous house in all it's opulence, she immediately fell in love with Bobby.

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Epilogue

You may ask, " why did Bobby love an obviously shallow goldigger like Julia, that was clearly only interested in Bobby's money?"

Well, Bobby was obviously a shallow idiot that was clearly only interested in Julia for her looks.

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Ending

And the lived happily ever after for two years until they got divorced.

The End


End file.
